Archive | December, 2009

Best of 2009

31 Dec

I am not going to do the best of the decade because a decade doesn’t end until after the zero year, (ie. 2000, 2010), so here is the Knuckle Sandwich Best Sports Moments of 2009:

10.  Awesome Defense by the Chicago Bulls

9. Kareem Dropping Knowledge

8. This Asshole

7. This Chain E-mail: HERE

Scroll down to get to the bottom of the e-mail, that has been sent to me like 300 times.

6. These Douchebags

5. Child Please

4. Shaq Declining


3. A Hockey Moment

2. New York Post PUNNY Headlines

1. What Roger Federer finds funny

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Weekend Wrap-Up

29 Dec

Christmas time has passed and we get ready to ring in the New Year (look for my 2009 recap coming this week, as well as one more podcast), but we still need to recap what happened over the holiday weekend. My first recap: I must have been bad this year because I did not get what I wanted this year, Lebron to be embarassed on Christmas day (see more about that below).

Let’s get to the recap.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

1. Bowl season is in full swing as we had five games over the four day weekend.  What bowls do you ask, oh well, the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, the Little Caesar’s Bowl, the Meineke Car Care Bowl, the Emarald Bowl, and the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowls.  There is no joke needed here.

2.Urban Meyer resigned over the weekend due to medical reasons, then he said that he was going to take an indefinite leave of abscence, with the intent to hopefully coach his team at the start of the 2010 season.  Everyone here at the Knuckle Sandwich blog (me) really hopes that Coach Meyer can return to good health, and can come back to the job that he loves, but we have a tip for you, start praying to Tim Tebow.  He seems to know Jesus.

PRO FOOTBALL

1. And then there were none.  The Colts lost to the New York Jets 29-15, but don’t blame Peyton Manning, because he was pulled from the game in third quarter so he could get “rest” for the playoffs.  I mean as much as I enjoy watching Curtis Painter get a ton of snaps, keep your guys in there Caldwell.  Stop being a pussy.  Too much?

2.  The AFC playoff picture is about as easy to figure out as my tax return, and I file as an actor, so I have a ton of W-2’s and a bunch of shit that I write off.  There are only four teams set, and there are seven teams that are still in the hunt for a spot, two of which are currently below .500.  Just look at this nonsense:

AFC Playoff Picture

PRO BASKETBALL

1. The Los Angeles Lakers lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers on Christmas Day, and not only did they lose, but they refused to show up, in probably the biggest game of their season so far.  Then that same night, Ron Artest, while playing Santa Claus fell down a flight of stairs and suffered a concussion.  Not joking.  He seriously did that.  Then the fans, fed up with the Lakers performance, did this:

2. The other LA team (sorry for the all LA news, but they had the biggest weekends), the Clippers pulled a huge upset of the Boston Celtics, in probably what is going to go down as the best plays of the season.  Let me make a prediction and say that the Clippers go on to lose their next four games, because they never seem to be able to build on any momentum.  It’s a pretty awesome play though, and Ralph Lawler, the Clippers announcer, almost has a stroke:

COLLEGE BASKETBALL

1. West Virgina looks to be pretty good.  They had a big win over Seton Hall in overtime, and they beat Ole Miss as well.  The only problem I have with this, is I still hate Bob Huggins.  Seriously, I think I hate him as much as I hate Nick Saban.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t over the fact that he left Kansas State after one season to go coach at West Virginia.  K-State gave you a chance, after you had a major drinking problem, and you just slapped them in the face.  Sorry, that’s just how I feel.

2. Mike Gerrity.  The USC point guard has had a ridiculous NCAA journey.  He started at Pepperdine, then transferred to UNC-Charlotte, then transferred again to USC.  He has sat out two full years, and has only played three full years.  In four games with USC he has lead the team in scoring, and they have won all four games.  Why is it important?  Because I coached the kid for three straight summers at Chapman University when he was at Junior High.  That’s right, I wasn’t always a comic, but I do like to think that I had a hand in making him the player he is.  I mean, check out some of my basketball skills:

SKILLZ!

New Podcast with Cole Stratton

23 Dec

Cole was the first guest on the podcast, and he is now the first repeat guest, so check out it out. Cole is co-founder/co-organizer of the SF Sketchfest, which has an amazing line-up, this year. He is also a fan of Detroit teams (sorry)

Download it from, Itunes here:

Knuckle Sandwich with Cole Stratton

Don’t have Itunes? Well, if not you can click on the Podcast page, and all past podcasts are archived there.

Weekend Wrap-Up

22 Dec

Hi, it was another weekend in sports, and in the world, because there is more to life that sports and the movie “Avatar”, although that is what a made up most of my weekend.  That and my fiance making me watch “Home For the Holidays”.  I digress.  A lot happened, so let’s get to it.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

1.  After a brief hiatus, college football is back, as bowl season kicked off, pun intended.  This weekend we saw such mighty bowls as the New Mexico Bowl (Fresno State vs. Wyoming), the St. Petersberg Bowl (Rutgers vs. Central Florida), and the R-L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (Southern Mississippi vs. Middle Tennessee State).  The New Mexico Bowl was actually quite exciting, and I actually picked all three games so a great week for me.

2.  Villanova beat Montana for their first FCS title in school history.  First of all, fuck this idea of the FCS, and FBS, and BCS.  Fuck it.  The great thing about Villanova’s National Championship is that they won it outright, because they won the tournament.  Period.  No Computer.  No BS school Presidents.  They just played football.  Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox.

PRO FOOTBALL

1. The Saints lost to the Cowboys on Saturday night, and so they are no longer undefeated.  Mercury Morris can breathe a little easier, HOWEVER, the Colts won, and are still undefeated, however they will most likely rest their starters next week.  That means we are going to see a lot of Curtis Painter.  Who is Curtis Painter?  Exactly.

2. Jamarcus Russell actually did something good.  He was the back-up behind Charlie Frye, formerly the 3rd string quarterback, meaning the 1st string quarterback, Bruce Gradkowski was injured, and they still chose not to start Jamarcus.  However, Charlie Frye got hurt at the start of the 4th quarter, and in comes Jamarcus, who threw a game winning touchdown pass with :39 seconds to go.  Don’t worry, I am sure 3rd string quarterback JP Losman will start this week.

PRO BASKETBALL

1. The Sacramento Kings continue to be the surprise team of the NBA, and their surprise rookie, Tyreke Evans, played against the other surprise rookie, Brandon Jennings, of the Milwaukee Bucks.  Who won?  The Kings and Evans.  Kid is pretty smooth.  Just check out the Freestyle he does with Jason Thompson and Donte Green.  Man it must be boring in Sac-Town.

2. The Lakers finished a five game road trip, 4-1, with four straight wins versus okay Eastern Conference teams (Pistons, Nets, Bucks, and Bulls).  So we know their good, but they still don’t have a good road test.  But now, who cares, they look pretty damn good.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL

1.  By far the most absurd sporting event of the weekend was Texas vs. North Carolina in the brand new Texas Stadium.  This place is too big for Football, so imagine how ridiculous it looked for basketball.  I mean, seriously, seriously.

It’s like paying money to go to the arena, and then watching a basketball on a giant TV.  How is that worth it?

2. Duke beat Gonzaga 76-41 on Saturday at Madison Square Garden.  Yes, you read that right. 76-41.  Matt Santangelo is rolling over in his money management firm that he runs in Spokane.

FINALLY,

NATIONAL LACROSSE LEAGUE KICKS OFF (PUN INTENDED) IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!

Hypocrisy

17 Dec

Last week, the University of Notre Dame hired Brian Kelly as their head football coach.  Kelly was the head coach of the University of Cincinnati, which is 12-0 and playing Florida in a BCS bowl next month.  Most of the Cincinnati media and players were outraged that Kelly left the team before their bowl game, with one player, wideout Mardy Gilyard saying he was “disgusted” by it, and that Kelly basically lied to them.

So what does a University do when their coach leaves them before their bowl game…hire a coach before his bowl game.  Butch Jones from Central Michigan (ironically the same place where Cincinnati hired their last coach, Brian Kelly).  So you complain about something, and then turn around and do it, which makes you a hypocrite.  That got me thinking about other great hypocrites, which I detail below.

1. Alec Baldwin

During the 2000 election, Alec Baldwin stated numerous times that if George Bush was re-elected, he was going to move to Canada.  Now I am no fan of George Bush, but clearly he was re-elected, and clearly Alec did not leave for Canada.

2. Country Music

See it claims to be music, but it clearly isn’t.

3. Nick Saban

Remember when Nick Saban adamantly denied that he was going to be the next head coach of Alabama, while he was still the coach of the Miami Dolphins.  Guess what he does now, he’s the head coach of the University of Alabama.

4. John Edwards

And no I don’t mean the Senator from North Carolina, I am talking about the psychic.  Come on dude, you don’t talk to dead people.  I don’t have proof, but here is an interview of him on my favorite canceled daytime show, “The Tony Danza Show”.

5. Anyone Wearing Ed Hardy

In your mind you think that you are the coolest person in the world, and you most likely look down upon others for not being as hip as you are.  Well, let me be the first to tell you, that you are without a doubt the lamest person alive.

6. Mount Rushmore

This national monument claims to be so majestic, and representative of how awesome America is, well, have you seen it?  It’s pretty fucking small.  I hate when monuments get you all hyped about America and shit, but then it doesn’t deliver.

See, hypocrite.

All-Star Ballots

15 Dec

As it stands right now, the public has voted Tracy McGrady to start in the All-Star Game.  For the record, Tracy McGrady has yet to play a game this season.  STOP LETTING THE PUBLIC VOTE FOR THE ALL-STARS!!!!!

Weekend Wrap-Up

15 Dec

I didn’t do one of these last week, as I recorded a podcast on Sunday, and didn’t want it to get lost in my madness, but we are back in business this week.  It was the first weekend without College Football, which means we are inching closer to bowl season, and man I cannot wait for the Little Caesar’s Bowl.  Seriously.  Pizza, Pizza.

In the meantime, here is what happened, in my eyes.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

1.There is one piece of college football news, they handed out the Heisman trophy over the weekend to Alabama running back Mark Ingram, the 5th best rusher (in terms of yards) in the nation while, the top rusher in the country, Toby Gerhart, did not.  Explain this two me: Gerhart had 200 more rushing yards than Ingram, and 11 more touchdowns, and had no bad games this season, so how does he lose?

Fuck the SEC.

PRO FOOTBALL

1. The Colts and the Saints continue to stay unbeaten, so you know what that means, it means we are getting some serious talk of the first unbeaten team in since the 1972 Dolphins, which also means the craziest man from that Dolphins team, Mercury Morris is going to start getting crazy.  Check out this clip from the last time a team almost went undefeated:

2. Bruce Gradkowski, QB for the Raiders, went down to injury, which means we saw the return of the worst quarterback in the league Jamarcus Russell.  Did that time on the bench have any effect on him?  Well, he was 10/16 for 74 yards and a pick, so I would say, no.

PRO BASKETBALL

1. Sixers are 0-3 with Allen Iverson in the line-up.  I don’t know who is more overrated in Philly, Iverson or Elton Brand.

2. Rudy Gay dropped 41 on the Heat last night, and the Grizzlies are now 5-1 in the month of December.  Yes, you heard me, the Grizzlies are 5-1, they are routing teams, and there has been a Zack Randolph sighting as well.  This again proving that dropping the player from #1, was a pretty good idea.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL

1.  John Wall is a stud.  Period.  Exclamation point.  Comma.  Colon.  Semi-Colon.  Any possible piece of punctuation.

2. #20 Butler beat #15Ohio State, on their home floor, which if you don’t know is the court from the movie Hoosiers.  Some would say that this upset, was very similar to this, which was one of the best slow-claps in film history (sorry Kyle):