Archive | February, 2010

Podcast with Jordan Black

27 Feb

Super Bowl Week is here, and so is a new podcast, with special guest, Jordan Black.  Jordan is a former Groundling and writer on SNL, and can currently be seen in the Christopher Guest directed “US Census” commercials.

Download it from, Itunes here:

Knuckle Sandwich with Jordan Black

Don’t have Itunes? Well, if not you can click on the Podcast page, and all past podcasts are archived there.

Weekend Wrap-Up

23 Feb

Did you miss me?  I know I haven’t been doing these, but I’m getting married in a month, so sue me, I have been REALLY busy.  There will be a new podcast coming this week, and tons of stuff to talk about, so let’s dive in.


1. By far the biggest story coming out of the weekend is the USA Men’s Hockey Team beating Canada in Men’s Hockey, during Pool Play.  People are starting to compare it to the “Miracle on Ice” in terms of upsets, but there really is one major difference, IT WAS IN POOL PLAY, whereas the Miracle on Ice got America into the Gold Medal game (and Al Michaels a permanent spot hosting the afternoon Winter Olympics coverage on NBC).  I am proud of our boys, but come on, I’m an American, I want to win it all.

Oh, and NBC doesn’t let out any video from the game so here is an inspirational speech for the movie, “Miracle” starring Kurt Russell

2. There is a man for the Canadian Curling Team, Kevin Martin, who has been described as the “Michael Jordan” of Curling.  Seriously.  I want you to take a look at a picture of this guy, and see if you think, just based on picture alone, if he looks like the Michael Jordan of anything.


1. Tracy McGrady made his “triumphant” debut with the Knicks.  I used quotes there, but to be honest, McGrady had a pretty nice debut for the Knicks (26 points), and it seems like the Knicks also are going to get some good back-up minutes from Eddie House (remember he played in D’Antonni’s system in Phoenix), but the Knicks still lost.  So, there’s that.

2. In what has become the stupidest story in the NBA this season, which center can own the nickname “Superman”, Shaq or Dwight Howard, the Orlando Magic beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 101-95.  Seriously, who gives a shit who is Superman.  Beat the Lakers in the Finals, and then we can start talking.  And in an even bigger display of who gives a shit, ESPN unveiled something called the “Ultimate Uplink” where Dwight Howard was interviewed remotely, but they made it look like he was in studio.  Check it out.


1. This weekend was a great weekend for College Basketball, and not because Kentucky kept winning, but because it was Bracket Buster Weekend.  It’s a weekend where mid-major schools, play each other in a showcase of what could be teams that could bust your bracket in March.  Get it.  You get match-ups like New Mexico State vs. University of the Pacific, New Hampshire vs. Loyola, MD, and my Cal Poly Mustangs vs. Hawaii (we won by the way).  Coming from a Mid-Major school, that I tried to walk on to, I love this stuff.  Plus, you get to see people like this from the University of Northern Iowa Vs. Old Dominion game.

Tiger Woods

20 Feb

I guess I should say something about this right?  I’m a comedian.  He apologized yesterday.  He slept with like 14 girls, and is in sex rehab.  I should say something right?  He was robotic and some people say that he didn’t seem that sincere.  So I should have some sort of witty retort or something funny right?  Right?  I mean what type of comic would I be, if I didn’t do something.  14 girls.  Multiple porn stars.  I should say something right?  I mean, it’s comic fodder, so I should say something?  I mean, he was just really doing it for the sponsors because I mean does he really have to apologize to us.  So I should have some cool pun, or maybe a list.  Something really funny, that sheds light on the situation, while commenting on the absurdity of it, but also making Tiger out to be some crazy person.  So I should say something funny right?


Trading Deadline!

18 Feb

The NBA trading deadline has come and gone, and the two biggest moves are as follows: Tracy McGrady to the Knicks and Kevin Martin to the Rockets (three-way trade so that counts as one move), and Antwan Jamison to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  For those who don’t follow the basketball, let me explain them to you in a simpler way.  Over-paid, Injury-Prone, Underachiever was traded to the New York team, in exchange for an over-paid, child-like looking, underachiever from the Capital of California.  In the other trade, Upstanding Citizen, and career over-achiever is sent to the Mistake by the Lake, in the last feeble attempt to prevent Lebron James from leaving.

The Winter Olympics!

12 Feb

White people across the world prep themselves for the Snow Olympics tonight in Vancouver, and what I thought I would do is point out something you may not know about a sport that we have no chance in medaling in: Curling.

I think we are past the point where we can make jokes about what the hell curling is.  No one really knows the ins and outs, but I think we all know that it is an Olympic sport, and it involves pushing stones across the ice.  However, did you know that San Francisco 49er’s tight end Vernon Davis is an honorary captain of the US Curling Team?  Seriously.  He is.  I’m not kidding.  He even shot a PSA for them.  Seriously.  I am not bullshitting you.  Fine!  You want proof:

Told ya.

Pitino to the Nets?

11 Feb

So reports are coming out that Louisville Coach Rick Pitino has inquired about the open coaching job with the New Jersey Nets (for the record the Nets are currently 4-48).  Pitino is now saying that there has been absolutely no contact what so ever, which only means one thing: plan on Pitino being the next coach of the Nets.

Oh, and hello!  I have been really busy this week, taking care of my dog, but a big post, and a new podcast coming tomorrow.


4 Feb

In a move coming out of nowhere, Mike Dunleavy has fired himself as head coach of the Los Angeles Clippers (he fired himself, because Dunleavy is also the General Manager of the Clippers, so he makes all of the personnel decisions). What makes this news so shocking is the fact that the Clippers have underachieved every year for the past four seasons, since they went to the Western Conference Semi-Finals. I mean, any coach in the league would have kept their job, right? The best answer is no. Dunleavy should have been fired years ago, so this news came as no surprise, which got me thinking of other big news stories, that really weren’t that big.

1. Mark McGwire Announcing He Did Steroids

File this under, no shit sherlock.  McGwire making this annoucement a few weeks ago was as about as shocking as the Clippers firing Mike Dunleavy.

2. Jay Leno Taking Back the Tonight Show

Did you really think he would say no?  If we learned anything from the whole Late-Night debacle, it’s that Jay Leno is an asshole.  Him taking his show back after Conan refused to be pushed to 12:30, was as shocking as Mark McGwire announcing that he did steroids.

3. Jon and Kate Getting Divorced

Watching ten minutes of their show was enough to see that they were on a car crash waiting to happened.  I mean this divorce was as bout as surprising as Jay Leno taking back the tonight show.

4. Bill O’Reily’s an Asshole

About as shocking as Jon and Kate getting divorced.